Hi! Thanks for dropping by.
I’m a Toronto-based writer and step adoptee. I work as a labour relations professional and also try to fit in time to relax in my pottery studio. I write about identity, step adoption, and the negative impacts of family secrets. My work has appeared in Salon and The New York Times and I am currently at work on a family memoir.
The Longer Story:
I am a step adoptee. Until three years ago, I never said these words to myself. It’s not that I didn’t know that my stepfather had adopted me, I just didn’t think it was important. Then, in 2018, something wonderful happened that sparked a hunger to know everything. I set out on a quest to uncover all that I could about my biological father’s story and in the process realized how being a step adoptee had shaped my identity. This is what started me on my writing journey.
My quest lasted three years. In many respects it is still ongoing. I’ve written about the incredible event that started it all and some of what happened next in my published essays, which I hope you will check out on these pages.
[Photo of my parents on their wedding day, March 1959.]
I couldn’t have gotten very far without the loving, enveloping, and honest support of my two sisters. My older sister, Ruti, features prominently in my writing as we share the same father. The motivation for my quest started with my desire to help her heal by providing the answers to questions she had spent a lifetime asking. She is my biggest fan and her faith in me has sustained me for a long time. My younger half-sister, Eva, has been unwavering in her support for this project, always quick to offer help with whatever I needed along the way, whether that was research, editing, or providing feedback on yet another wacky idea. She is also my biggest fan. (Sure, I can have two, why not?) I love my sisters! The photo is the three of us, left to right: Eva, Ruti, and Michèle.
At the end of the three years, I had a first draft of a family memoir. I am now in the revision stage (which is hell!). The working title, Not My Story: A Memoir, reflects the transformation I went through while on my quest. When I started, I thought I would be writing my father’s story and that it would be a straightforward account of a life uncovered through research and diligence. What I didn’t expect was that my quest would transform me. Filling in the details of my father’s life, I felt that I was also writing my own story. As my favourite adoption writer and psychologist Michael Grand would say, I had been missing Chapter One of my life. (You can listen to Michael Grand here and you can also find him on YouTube. I have a link to his book on my Resources page.)
I was introduced to Michael Grand by my friend Suzy Rosenstein, who runs a fantastic podcast called Women in the Middle. Both Michael and Suzy have offered me extraordinary encouragement and I am honoured to have them as friends.
My Chapter One will never be accurate or complete, but what I have learned has fulfilled me in ways that I never expected. The quest I embarked on in 2018 allowed me to claim my history and understand the importance of knowing my biological origins. Everyone has the right to know their story. I hope it won’t be too long before I can share my full story with you!